I Wrote This At 4am Sick With Covid [360p]

When you are sick at 4 AM, completely isolated, the loneliness is physical. You might have a partner sleeping next to you. You might have a roommate three feet away. You might even have a cat who judges you from the foot of the bed.

Instead, your mind latches onto the big things.

I don’t know you. But at this precise, frozen moment in the night, we are the same. Your throat hurts? Mine too. You just coughed so hard you saw a brief flash of your ancestors? Welcome to the club. You’re wondering if the third rapid test you took was a false negative, or if this is just the new variant that feels like a hangover from a wedding you never attended? I’m right there with you. By now you’ve read the CDC guidelines. You know to call a doctor if you have trouble breathing. You know about Paxlovid and pulse oximeters. You know the difference between Tylenol and Advil. i wrote this at 4am sick with covid

There is a specific, surreal torment to being awake at 4 AM when the rest of the world is asleep. It is the hour of wolves, of insomniacs, and of broken people trying to tape their lives back together. But when you are awake at 4 AM sick with COVID , it stops being a mere hour. It becomes a country. A lonely, feverish country you never applied for a visa to enter.

Then the chills return with a vengeance. When you are sick at 4 AM, completely

And that is what this article is. A hand reaching out from another dark room, in another time zone, on another continent.

But you are effectively alone. Your virus has built a wall of contagion around you. You do not want to wake anyone up. You do not want to call a hotline at this hour. You just want someone— anyone —to say, “Yeah. Same.” You might even have a cat who judges

So you reach for your phone. Not out of strength, but out of desperate, aching boredom. You open a blank document.