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The greatest romantic storylines today are not boy-meets-girl; they are son-leaves-mother. They are about the painful, unglamorous work of differentiating oneself. To love well, one must be unbuttoned. One must be free.

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At first, she thinks it’s sweet. “He respects his mother.” “He’s a family man.” He brings her homemade soup when she’s sick—soup his mother made. He is attentive and caring because he has been trained to anticipate a woman’s needs. The warning signs are subtle: the daily calls, the way his voice softens around mom, the way his spine stiffens when she criticizes la señora . enmeshed mother-son relationships